UPDATE...This is a Big One!

Neena has dilated to 2.5 cm and is 60% effaced. As mentioned before, Neena is Group-B Strep positive...so the update is: Neena will be induced next week! The tentative dates are for Oct. 4, 5, or 6. Our doc has us scheduled at the hospital and we'll firm up the date at Neena's next appointment on Tuesday, Oct. 1st. WOW we're going to have a baby in 10 days...at the LATEST!!

Why are we inducing...in case you're wondering? Because we live almost 40 miles from our hospital, both freeways are under construction, and Neena has Group-B Strep. The doc spoke to us today about this and how it would be the safest way to be sure Neena was in a controlled environment, closely monitored by docs, and be sure to be receiving all the antibiotics that her and Brodee needs to be sure that Brodee does not get Group-B. Also, this will NOT be a drug induced labor...NO Petosin (sp?)! Neena has progressed far enough that they will simply break her water.

So, Neena is in her last week of pregnancy. We're both kind of in shock to KNOW when this is going to happen. After her doc checked Neena today she said that she really could go into labor at any minute so we're trying to keep Neena still, calm and not overly-stressed. So, please keep up the prayers for Neena and Brodee as we're at the very end of this pregnancy. The next post will more-than-likely contain pics of our little Brodee!!

Breakdown #1

These always happen when I'm by myself.

I've spent almost a week, since last Wednesday, in silence. Well, in as much silence as I could be in. Lots of thoughts began to rise to the surface: becoming/being a father, my wife's health and ability to go through delivery as strong, safe, and normal as possible, Brodee going through labor and delivery as strong, safe, and normal as possible; our upcoming move, transition, new job, new church, new friends, new home; my past...enough said. To say I'm scared is completely understated!! I'm petrified...so scared I don't want to move: physically, spiritually, emotionally. I can't really sleep, it comes in 30 mins to an hour spurts. So with all of that, I finally broke down this morning.

It was the funniest thing. There I was, cleaning my office after packing it up and moving shelving, curriculum, signage, and equipment to the pulpit minister's office. I, as previously mentioned, was alone...in silence, listening to my thoughts and what I understood God was telling me (more on that later). It started as choking up: I'm saying good-bye to my best friends and people who have become family to me. Then It became a slow-but-steady stream of tears: I'm leaving what has been a healing place for me in ministry...still difficult at times, but nonetheless a healing place and a safe place. Then with all the thoughts of parenthood and the new, the unknown, the uncontrollable...I began to weep, I really lost it! Trust me, you would've laughed out loud and pointed at me...the Sissy. I know that some readers are waiting for me to screw up...because that's what I am to them, and I know that that day is coming. To others this blog is a waste because they know that with God, Neena, and other friends that we'll (Neena and I) be great parents...after all God hand-made Brodee just for us.

I'm really just rambling now because I DON'T KNOW...and that scares me to no end.

I have dependency/trust issues. Those are my greatnes weaknesses. It's very hard for me to say, "OK LORD, here I am...all that you've made, and everything I have: past, present, and future, are yours. Where do you need me?" I'd rather say, "OK lord (notice that its not in all caps), here I am...and here's where I'm going, here's what I think will work...any questions?" I don't do well with unknowns. I like lists and explicit, detailed, instructions: i.e. Brodee should come with a step by step manual. I won't read it at first, but should I get in a bind...there should be detailed instructions on how to unwind my mishaps. Someone, in control, should tell me that Neena's going to be OK, not just during labor/delivery, but every time she says "have a good day" and walks out the door. My job should come with a life-time guarantee: Josh, you're Westover's new HS minister...if you'll take care of X, Y, and Z you'll have a paid position, and be well loved, taken care of, and secure until YOU're ready to leave many MANY years from now.

I recognize that I'm beyond stressed. I've reached a precursory breaking point that has alerted me..."Um, Josh. You may want to back off a tiny bit. Slow down, and breathe. You're doing too much and your body is not used to it...yet."

I believe to be hearing God, in the deep end of the pool looking up at the high-dive...arms stretched out, assured look on his face, saying, "It's OK Joshua I created you for such a time as this...JUMP! I'm right here and I will CATCH you." I, on the other hand, am clinging...white-knuckled to the ladder of the high dive, knees-a-knockin', heart-a-poundin' saying, "ARE YOU NUTS?!?!"

So, just wanted to let you know that I lost it today. I'm scarred. I would like for one of you to walk down my road, scout it out, and return assuring me that all is well and looks very good. So, who's up for it?

Seriously, thanks for listening. Prayers are welcomed!

Still Waiting...

No baby yet, but thought I'd give a quick update to you all. Neena is 37 weeks today. At the check-up yesterday the doc thought that Brodee may have flipped into the breech position. After a quick sonogram, all is well...he's still head down. I want you all to please be in prayer for Neena and especially Brodee. Neena found out that she's Group-B Strep positive which means that her and Brodee will be given antibiotics during labor/delivery to ensure that our little guy doesn't catch anything. We'll also have to stay for 48 hours so they can observe Brodee. Other than that, all is well and we're just in the waiting game right now. Bags are packed and everything is by the door and ready to go as soon as Brodee decides hes' ready. Only a couple more weeks!!

First Pics of Brodee...

Well, kinda...he's not here yet, still cookin'. But I finally was able to get Brodee's pictures into my computer. There are two pictures, both are of his face...doesn't he have the chubbiest little cheeks? So, here ya go. Enjoy!

35 weeks and counting...

Sorry guys, it's been a while...things have been a little busy around here lately. If you've read Neena's blog you've found out that we're moving! Having a baby! Starting a new job! Finding new friends! and Buying a house! ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! Are we insane or what? Anyways, we were offered a job in Austin, TX, the church is phenominal from our point-of-view, and has an even better reputation. We weren't really planning or looking to move, God showed up and told us too. So we said OK! We announced our move to our church in AZ two Sundays ago and was that ever a tough thing to do! Everything is great here, we love it, love the people, love the community, everything...so why did we move? It's Brodee's fault. That's all I've got to say about that (Forrest Gump).

About the pic, This is Neena at 35 weeks...the pic was taken literally minutes ago. Brodee has dropped even further, so he's pretty close to 'staging'. The doc thinks that Neena may deliver about two weeks early. If that's true Neena will deliver in about 22 days! Everyone is doing great, Brodee is active and already has quite the personality...he doesn't like to be messed with. Like father, like son...crap! Neena is great, the room is ready, all we need is Brodee.

Below is a few more pics of Neena, Brodee's first chair, and his mobile. Be praying for a good and safe delivery, it's right around the corner!



Brodee's 'chair', it vibrates, plays music, has light show and toys! Can we say ADD?


Brodee's crib mobile: We had to have teddy bears and sports stuff somewhere. Now it will be the last thing he sees before he nods off to la-la-land.