Wisdom
For those who have kids, are about to have kids, thinking about having kids, and those who don't want kids but like to laugh at those who do. I received the following in an email this morning and it was too funny not to share. Sorry for no reference...there was none in the email. ENJOY!
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T !" "Don't what ?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit ? We have forbidden fruit ? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! " " No Way !" "Yes way! "
"Do NOT eat the fruit ! " said God.
"Why ? "
"Because I am your Father and I said so! " God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked ! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? " God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you ? " said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it! " Adam said.
"Did not ! "
"Did too ! "
"DID NOT ! "
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY ! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for you not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word, what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T !" "Don't what ?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. "Forbidden fruit ? We have forbidden fruit ? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit! " " No Way !" "Yes way! "
"Do NOT eat the fruit ! " said God.
"Why ? "
"Because I am your Father and I said so! " God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked ! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? " God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you ? " said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it! " Adam said.
"Did not ! "
"Did too ! "
"DID NOT ! "
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY ! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for you not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word, what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!
posted by Josh at
12:43 PM
3 Comments:
That's funny (and sometimes true!) ; ) Thanks for sharing.
that was hilarious bro. haha
shawn
Too funny! :) I'll have to share this with my friends who are parents!
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